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1. #FUNNY NON PERSON FACE FOR FACEBOOK UPDATE#
2. #FUNNY NON PERSON FACE FOR FACEBOOK PRO#

Don’t adopt a puppy to see if you’re ready for kids.I had a lazy eye as a child and now the rest of my body has caught up.After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!.Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can’t remember where I laid my car keys down last night?.Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What’s the proper etiquette here? I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist.I hate brushing teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have any more food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment.I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.A train station is where the train stops.

If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?.‪I’m gonna ask my mom if that offer to slap me into the next year is still on the table.When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy”, that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”.2020 is what happens when you mix your Tarot deck with Cards Against Humanity.This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.I planted myself on the sofa in April and have grown bigger ever since… My gardening skills have improved since the quarantine.Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they’re the ones who make money fixing people’s teeth?.

#FUNNY NON PERSON FACE FOR FACEBOOK PRO#

Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you never have to host a children’s birthday party again.I am forever disappointed that Chef Bobby Flay didn’t name his daughter Sue.Out of all my body parts, my eyeballs are in the best shape because I roll them like 300 times a day….I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”.Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. How many instruments must you be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?.I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin. I switched all the labels on the Spice rack….This is why I’ll never be ending an email with the phrase “Regards” ever again. It recently became apparent to me that the letters “T” and “G” are far too close together on a keyboard.

#FUNNY NON PERSON FACE FOR FACEBOOK UPDATE#

So here are some funny Facebook status update ideas that you can borrow for your own account, from funny one liners to funny jokes to funny Facebook status updates about life.įunny Facebook Relationship Status Updatesįunny Weekend Status Updates for Facebookįunny Good Morning Status Updates for Facebookįunny April Fools’ Facebook Status Updatesįunny Christmas Status Updates for Facebookįunny Happy New Year Facebook Status Updates Even if you are a little funny, with everyone posting so much on Facebook, it’s hard to come up with something truly original that stands out from the rest of daily funny status updates for Facebook.

I mean, if you’re super witty and funny, and basically a natural-born comedian - then sure - you probably don’t even need our advice.īut the rest of us mortals that don’t have an inherent comedic gene could probably use some help. In this article we will share not only examples of funny Facebook status updates, but also tips on how you can write your own. If you’re looking for really funny Facebook status updates that will get likes and comments, you’re in the right place.